Find Your Train

       When you want to go get some food from a restaurant, how would you go about doing it?  First and foremost, you would have to decide what you wanted and where you could go to get it.  In summary, you must first choose your destination.  Life is not so different.  Surprisingly enough, when I talked to a few of my friends about things of this sort, they don’t really know what they want or where they want to go in life to a definitive point.  Realizing this, I thought it might be helpful provide a hypothetical situation I use on myself quite often.  If I were to tell you today that you were leaving on a train, and that it was taking you to a place far far away.  Deep down, you would know exactly where you wanted to go.  For myself, this place is more of a state of mind than a set of longitudinal and latitudinal coordinates.  Actually, the place I long to be is somewhere I’ve already been, a state of mind and heart that I’ve never come close to replicating since it escaped me . In my thought, a place is only as good as the people you know in it, so of course, where I would like to be taken by that proverbial train has a lot to do with the person(s) I was close to at this time.  It wasn’t actually all that long ago in the grand scheme of things, and I wasn’t always content with everything that went on in this time.  However, what causes me to lay awake at night and yearn for a way to return is the passion I felt as a person.  I knew exactly what I wanted and literally did anything I could to get it.  I lived a life of pure passion.  My creativity, understanding, and knowledge of who I am as a person were at an unprecedented high.  Now don’t get me wrong, I enjoy my life today as much as anyone can, and I’ve still got plenty of wild seeds to sow.  However, when the day is done, I’ve gone to bed alone, and lay aimlessly starring at the ceiling as my heart beat hastens and slows as I recap old memories, all my mind can do is attempt to plot a way to take me back to where I was.  So for me, it’s never really been a question of where I want to go.  Rather, it’s been me on one of those sleepless nights wondering when my train will arrive, so I can be on my way.